5/22/2013

How to be happy (10 ways to stay positive)

I always thought that for being happy you have to really work on that. It`s like a car- once you start it runs till the fuel is over. Then you need to fill the tank and drive again. The same with our happiness - if you are not treating it well, not "feeding" that feeling yourself - you are stopping. And sometimes those stops can take too much and be too hard to restart everything over.

Remember that we all sometimes have bad days, feeling down and sad. You are not alone.  But don`t make those days to last too much - sadness is normal but it must be limited. And you are the one who is going to decide when you want to be happy again.

Here is the list (the order is random) of things which I think are really important. Take into account that this is personal, individual for everyone and I am not a psychologist. Also, this is not a recipe of happiness but could be a starting point for your own search. To be this effective - be free and "throw out" those numbers to which you are not agreeing and take only those ones which are close to your viewpoint. Let´s get started:


1. Let yourself be. Do not judge yourself, for example – you consider yourself as fat and every time after eating you think that you are the worst person ever and that you are the only one who can`t control yourself so you are not worth that new dress you like, to have a boyfriend etc. Stop here. Recognize yourself – yes, I am a little bit big. Or maybe very big.  But I am letting myself be. It`s me, I am letting myself free from my thoughts. Or another example – you are jealous for something and you think that you shouldn`t be like that. Accept yourself – yes, I am jealous. So what? It is me and this is how I am, I was made or I have chosen to be like like that. But I am not going to judge myself because of this, I am free and I accept my body and who I am and I am letting myself be.

This step is very important – you have to be comfortable with yourself and accept yourself no matter what. We all do have bad things. And it is normal - we have a right and we all live, nobody is kicking us out of the life because of bad things we are having. We have to accept who we are, this is the way we are and the way we will be. So why to waste time judging ourselves? No, it is better just to let ourselves be with who we are – easily, calmly and satisfied.

2. Try not to be in an environment where are negative emotions. We people being social like to belong to some groups, be in need. When you are around people with negative emotions - it is likely that quite quickly you will identify yourself with this group of bad emotions. For example - people who are always coming to complain to you about their lives. Don`t let them to do this! You are not a rubbish bin. Or if it`s impossible to avoid those situations - at least try not to take everything what was said into yourself.

Try to be in an environment of successful people or people who are happy and like to share happiness with others. This is going to inspire you seeing good examples and understanding that if they can - why I can`t?

3. Be a little bit egoistic. If you consider yourself as a person who is usually more giving than receiving - stop and think for a second. Be a part of your own kindness. Don`t give everything for other especially if you are not sure if that person is going to value that. Value yourself. Don’t think it´s selfish. For example make yourself a little surprise - say to yourself a compliment "I look sexy with those jeans because they fit me perfectly". Appreciate what you took from this day - say thanks to yourself if you learned something new. The person who is loving herself/himself will be always loved by others too. Because love attracts people.

4. Volunteer. I can ensure you that volunteer work will always bring you satisfaction which will blow your bad thoughts away. Being volunteer means being needed, means changing and creating. You will be occupied doing good work which will not let you think only about yourself and how bad you are doing. You won`t have time for that and you will realize that you can do much more than you could expected from yourself.

5. Listen to your inside voice not moment emotions. If you are feeling bad don`t put immediately yourself a title saying "miserable". Be sure that this is not your moment emotions talking, try to put them always and ask really inside yourself - how are you feeling inside? Analyze your feelings.

6. Go out more often. Because sitting at home and thinking about your problems is not going to solve them. On the contrary – it´s going to make them more “sharper” and deeper. Even if you don´t have anyone you would like to go out – there must be someone, trust me. You just don´t see them. Call your school/college/university/co-worker/neighbour/whoever you found on your phone list and ask to go out for a coffee. Shouldn´t be that hard. Have a small talk, conversation about anything very special, ask how others are doing – these chats are really cleaning the mind if you manage to show interest on someone that you really care. People like that, this way you are creating a bound, you are opening your view. It is making you to understand that the world is bigger and there is not only you and your problem(s).

 If you really think you don’t have anyone to call – look for some activities you would like to join (classes, yoga, discussion clubs etc). Soon you will make new friends (or just the people to go out somewhere). Or try a volunteer work (look nr. 4).

7. Make yourself laugh.  Even if you feel like crying – try to laugh. Watch funny video on youtube (for example people falling; ok that’s rude but really funny though). Or another great method is just to force yourself to laugh. You could look silly for yourself, stupid – but you know - it’s working. Because you start laughing for real from this stupid situation trying to force yourself laugh. Think about your problem positively – for example, you failed a job interview. Take this situation on your hands, feel how you can modify it and instead of judging yourself about what you said or didn´t say – try to laugh. Take it easy – at this moment while you are reading this article thousands of people around the world are failing their job interviews. And so what? Sooner or later you will find something but now – take it easy, stay positive and the most important – relax and keep on moving.

8. Make a list of your goals. Including short like daily ones and long-term goals of your life. For some people even waking up today and making themselves a breakfast is costing a lot of energy. It is very important to go out of a chaos mode, put yourself a little bit in order. So try to make a list – what are your short goals and then later you can add long-term ones. For example, the first list could look like this: 1. Clean the house 2. Go grocery shopping. 3. Review my CV. Make yourself a mission – today I will complete all what´s on my list (or if you have a long one then pick 5 random ones) and at the end of a day cross them out. This method will give you a feeling that you are doing something, that you are not waiting anymore and you will feel satisfaction. Besides, it´s a really fun way to start yourself moving from the “STOP position”. You will see how much actually you can do in one day and that you can do even more!

9. Eat tasty and colourful food, drink water and be outside. Spend time for preparing yourself food. Make something tasty you like and put nicely on the plate. Make a colourful salad (or a cake if you prefer!), eat slowly, enjoying, if you don´t like eating alone – call a friend to join you. Truth is that our mood is affected a lot from the colours around us. If it´s a rainy grey day – add colours to your food. Make a balance. Our view, what we see is in a direct contact with a brain part which is responsable  for our psychical health. So cheat it a little bit!
Drink as much water as you can – not because water is the most important for a living but also because water fills our cells, makes our body happy and in a result of this – happy mind too. Psychological studies even link depression or anxiety disorders to body dehydration. Well think about it – 85% of our brain is water.  When the cells are dehydrated we are getting nervous, so calm those nerves down by drinking 8 glasses of water everyday! It´s easy to get used to it and once you´re used to – it´s becoming a lifetime habit.
Go outside everyday for at least 30 minutes. Doesn´t matter if it´s sunny or raining, snowing, hot or cold – go outside for a walk. Take fresh air, it´s cleaning our head. Our eyes need to see a view changing – not only the walls of our flats. Our ears need to hear the outside noises – the best, of course, are from the nature but city noises make our body to react also; it´s activating.

10. Don´t take your family or friend problems as if they were yours. Some people especially those who usually are more sensitive without noticing are identifying themselves to the family members or friends. It´s fine and absolutely normal to feel sad about them or be worried but not to take their problems to yourself. For example, your sister has low self-esteem, she is never successful with boys, never finding a job, having eating disorder etc. Be a good sister/brother/friend – support her, offer a help, show and give your love and care, be when she needs you. But never take her problems like they were yours – remember we all have our own way, you are not responsible of your sister´s/father´s/mother´s/friend´s life. You have to keep and protect your bonds with them but we all have our own path which we are creating. We are responsible of ourselves and only us, we are choosing. So love them but let them be and let them choose. You choose your own and you have all your rights here. And don´t judge yourself because of their own mistakes.

***
In my opinion the most important thing to keep in mind all the time is to understand that you and only you are a creator of your life. You are your healer of yourself and you are the opener of the paths in your life. Remember that you can be strong and you can deal with yourself, just don´t close your eyes and show love to your mind and body, value yourself. Respect what was given to you and that you are responsable for your own well-being. And it´s true – everyday is beautiful and full of surprises you need to discover.

Thanks for reading.

Eve 

9 comments:

  1. Thank you Eve. It's refreshing to read a post that is so beautifully written. We agree that you have the power to control and determine the path you take
    X
    have a wonderful day

    http://mkstyleramblings.blogspot.com.au

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  2. I really enjoyed this post. They're all really good tips and thats such a good point about limiting sadness!

    Hannah x

    http://b-l-a-b.blogspot.co.uk/

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  3. Great tips, love this post!

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    www.astylevictim.blogspot.com

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  4. This is just such a nice, well written post. I particularly like number 8...I find it really helps to focus your mind on what you want to achieve, and have positive goals to work towards.
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  5. What a lovely post! Hopefully this will help a lot of people :)

    Ria x
    naturiabeauty.com

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  6. I had to learn the "dont take family or friends problems" the hard way, but its a key to mu happiness now. Great list:)

    Aesthetic Lounge

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  7. thanks for this post. I will reread it when I am feeling down. I agree that getting outside every day is very important. Sometimes I feel I am giving myself a break by allowing myself to stay inside the apartment all day. But then I start to feel like an animal trapped in a cage, instead of a bear hibernating and resting up. Thank you for reading my blog as well.

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  8. Hi, great post, love this! :)

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